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October Top 5: The Top 5 Reasons Vampires Are Our Favorite Monsters

In Top 5 on October 29, 2010 at 12:05 am

In celebration of Halloween, we turn our Top 5 for October to the top 5 reasons we love vampires more than any other supernatural creature or monster.  Both Broads are fans of the fangs from way back, beginning with the granddaddy of them all, Dracula.  We love their blood lust and all the other kinds of lust writers seem to think up for these creatures of the night.  Below the list is the discussion of our choices, sure to be racy, so read, enjoy, and have a fangtastic Halloween!

Alexandria/Moira

1.  Danger/ No pelt to get in the way like other supernatural creatures
2.  Creatures of the Night/Neck work
3.  Look young, generally old school/Enthrallment is a great excuse for being a bad girl
4.  Always wealthy/Are you experienced?
5.  Tortured souls/Control of metaphysical world

Number 1 reason to love vampires?

Alexandria: Vampires are the definition of sexy danger.  Think of other supernatural beings.  Sure, they’re dangerous.  The werewolf will tear out your jugular as soon as look at you.  Other shape shifting creatures will eat you like a snack.  Zombies…well, they’ll eat your brain, which is not only dangerous but gross.  But none of these creatures are sexy.  Werewolves and shape shifters are animals, and not in the oh-my-God-ravish-me way.  No, they’re just a step above pets.  And zombies?  Rotting faces and maggots pouring out of the tops of heads is definitely not sexy.  Only vampires offer the combination of sex and danger.
Moira: Agree!  Who wants disgusting dog drool or rotting flesh to ruin a perfectly good night?  (It kinda reminds me of “Jed”….remember him, the wagon train guy…..uuuggh.  That gave me the shivers.)

Moira: Vampires are smooth operators, and if my mind and body can be taken over by a supernatural creature–I prefer to run my hands over beautiful skin as opposed to becoming tangled in a hairy wildebeest.  EWWWWW!  These two words are why werewolves (for me) could never be the top supernatural creature–back pelt.  Check it at the door, big guy.
Alexandria:
Back pelt….see below….(in the post, you perv, not where you were thinking!)

The second reason to like them more than other supernatural creatures?

Alexandria: Generally, vampires are nocturnal creatures, and it’s not surprising.  Daytime is good for work, chores, and school–not activities usually associated with the mad, bad, and dangerous to know.  Nighttime is a time for the hidden and secret areas of life–perfect for beings who are the definition of hidden and secret.  Of course, there are vampires who can travel about during the day; Dracula is one of them.  But Edward from Twilight is another, and he twinkles in the daylight, so let’s not go any further with that.  Twinkling is not mad, bad, or dangerous.  It’s just lame. 
Moira:
Nighttime is also when scary things feel…..well scary.  It is in the dark that you can give yourself the goosebumps.  Think about it, ever get scared in your bedroom during the day?  I think not.

Moira: Neck work.  As if I have to explain further…Holy Mother, that looks like it feels delicious!
Alexandria: I have nothing cute or pithy to add.  Delish….

The number three reason vampires beat out creatures like zombies?

Alexandria: Youth is wasted on the young, but on vampires it’s a perfect fit.  With few exceptions, these supernatural creatures are young and beautiful.  Vampires live hundreds of years, yet they always seem to be incredibly attractive, even in many horror stories.  They’re the best of both worlds:  they have the faces and bodies of young men, but they have the wisdom and skills of a more mature man.  How many of us have thought, “If I could be young but know what I know now.”  This is the key to vampire appeal.  What’s not to love?
Moira: Would you rush out to see a movie about an old guy attempting to woo some young …okay, any woman?  Not bloody likely.  There is something exceedingly attractive about the idea of being old, yet looking young.  Just look at the creams, gels, and concoctions being sold in the skin care industry or the dramatic rise in plastic surgery patients over the last decade.  Vampires had better keep themselves hidden indeed if they do in fact exist…..for I’m afraid they would be captured just to extract the “fountain of youth” gene from them.  Ha!  That’s rich…the night stalker would be the prey at the hands of aging women across the globe……

Moira:Ho hum life got you down?  Craving a little excitement or adventure with a bad boy/bad ass creature of the night?  Let vampire “enthrallment” give you a new focus and a whole lot of confidence.  Once under the enthrallment of your blood sucking suitor, you won’t have an inhibition to your name–your only thought will be on giving and receiving…really.

Besides, what’s a better excuse for your boss?  “Excuse me, but I won’t be into work–I’m under a bad case of enthrallment.”
Alexandria: That’s what I’m going to use for an excuse for my next mental health day off–enthrallment.  They aren’t buying the claim of the vapors anymore.  Gotta keep it fresh.

I’m already convinced, but you have a fourth reason?

Alexandria: I can’t remember a story that included a vampire that was poor.  They’re always well off, if not obscenely wealthy.  This must be one of the benefits of living for hundreds of years.  But it’s also a very attractive trait–a man who takes care of business with his finances.  Oooooooohhhhhh….sorry, the fantasy of a man who’s good with money always does it for me. 
Moira:
Vacations, luxury, security……Oh, my kingdom for the man you describe.  Remember girls, vampires are NOT real.

Moira:Ancient and eternal, forever in his prime, the vampire has lived and loved in the history we can only read about.  That’s experience, and experience is sexy.  You won’t endure a misplaced grope or an awkward invasion at the hands of your fanged lover.  Just relax and enjoy the ride….
Alexandria: Experienced and good looking?  Mmmm…mmmmm…mmmmm.  However, in our neck of the woods, experience usually comes with the complimentary back pelt.  And I’m not talking about weres either.

And the final reason why vampires are the best monsters?

Alexandria: I love a man with a tortured soul.  I can’t help it.  Vampires in stories are often torn between doing the right thing and not killing others and satisfying their blood lust.  Other times they’re made to be just bad, but then the author gives them some tragic back story to show why they’re bad, usually because a woman did them wrong.   Whatever it is, I do love me a man with a tortured soul. 
Moira:
Uhmmmm, yeah, ditto.  Except in real life…..then I recommend avoiding these men at any/all costs.  Keep it in between the pages ladies….then you can shut the book when you’ve had enough of his shit.

Moira:I like a man/vampire who is in control of the situation at all times, and vampires take first place in this category.  Able to close doors, let loose the hounds which guard his estate, or remove clothing with just a thought, the vampire is the master of his physical world and by association, mine.  Thatsa shesa nice.
Alexandria: I like when authors have them light candles just with their minds.  Controlling the situation and being romantic at the same time.  Now that’s a male who knows how to take care of the business.

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  1. Eeeuuww, not Jed and certainly nothing that has anything that could be construed as a “pelt”. Gee honey, that was great but I gotta go floss now…gag.
    Don’t lets forget the ever sexy stare down. You know the look. The one that dances with the flames desire and passion. The look that lets you know he has just what you need to make the midnight train to screaming-like-a-bansheeville. Oh yeah.

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